can't believe how strange it is

I feel like I'm too young for all of this.

so many random happenings are happening.

Interesting persons with interesting similarities have all been
coincidentally contacting me with in the past couple days.

Is there something in the water?

I'm afraid I don't know what makes me happy anymore.

Setlist from tonight.

you won't know
degausser
I believe you...
sic transit gloria
jaws theme swimming
no seatbelt song
vices
gasoline
in a jar
you stole
sowing season
archers
jesus christ
bought a bride
sink
at the bottom
play crack the sky

Songs from daisy are better live.
Vices was intense.

I have been staying up into the early morning hours frequently.
I've been reviewing my options.
I've been listening to love songs and watching movies that depict happiness.
I've been sitting in the dark waiting for an answer.
I miss my home and I miss my family.

Craving adventure and a cozy place to snuggle.
I miss the sunsets and warm breeze.
Winter is coming fast and I need to unpack my coats.

I seem to have everything I need at the moment.
But I feel so empty. I feel as if I have nothing to
offer, but there is nothing more that I want than
to make you happy and to be happy. I want to feel
better about school, too. I am lost and in no particular
direction. I want to draw, but this whole art school thing
is getting to my head and I panic and have outbursts.
I just want to feel good about my life and what I'm doing with it.
If I'm doing everything right, then why do I feel so desperately helpless?

i believe "minx", was his exact wording. haha


i'm having such an incredible week :)

I'm coming down for spring break/my birthday.
but it won't be until March 20th.
I can't think of anything I want for my Birthday.
I'm quite content, maybe a light/drafting table.
That would be awesome.

i guess i just wish someone cared, and acted like they cared.

i've become so introverted and boring.





fuck me right?

i love having babes as apartment neighbors and finding out that at least one of my new roommates is going to be chill. I dislike living in awkward situations with people I feel like I have to tip toe around, because in certain situations I am not able to tip toe but much rather stomp furiously through the duration of the issue. Receiving a free ticket to animal collective is great as well, especially when it is from the previous individuals I mentioned at the vary beginning of this rant. I figured I had not updated this in a while and I decided the best way to keep my hands busy was to just continually type my stream of consciousness, or at least snippets of it. I'm not sure about my major. I'm sick of computers. I realized I loved drawing way more, and I always have. I want to be an illustrator, but still use the computer on certain occasions. Don't get my wrong, the computer is a powerful and useful too, but i would much rather create something more organic. Some of my best work has come from the use of both. Anyway, I wanna try children's books or magazines or maybe even draw sweet ass shit on people's skate boards and snow boards. Whatever it is, I'm drawing it.

my sister is a little obsessed

i want to go there so bad !

http://citymuseum.org/panphototour.html

i thought i was over feeling this useless.

everything is alright.

well,

i'll be in florida tomorrow until january 22


if anyone still would like to see me

Jacob Christopher "Jake" Lloyd (born March 5, 1989) is an American actor, who gained worldwide fame when he was chosen by George Lucas to play the young Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

He is currently attending Columbia College Chicago as a film and video major.

i feel like its impossible for me to find anyone i could stick with.


thats why this process seems unreachable and redundant.

seriously.
like the quote from dodgeball.

and i'm not even going to quote it because it is THAT LAME.


on the edge of the bed, i can see your blood flow.

it's obvious i want you back, at least for a short while.

everyone you know goes away in the end.